Archive for the ‘crime’ Category

My Ninja, Please! 12.20.11: MPAA Pirating Music

This clip familiar to you? Me too, but there is something more amiss here.

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Netherlands composer Melchior Rietveldt composed that ominous techno tune for a local film festival after being asked by anti-piracy group BREIN, who are funded by Hollywood. A few years later, he got himself a copy of Harry Potter on DVD and noticed his music was suddenly being used for much wider use than he had originally agreed to in contract. Which essentially means that when they say ‘you wouldn’t steal a television’, that doesn’t quite extend to intellectual property. [Read the rest]

Yes, the very same advert that you are forced to watch at the beginning of every DVD, the one telling you what a hurtful, unethical crime pirating would be, is using music that is PIRATED. My. Ninja. Please.

There are a lot of questions that could be asked here, but the author of the original piece asks the most important one for me:

After all, if they can’t even look after their own ads, how can they expect anybody else to abide by the law?

Excuse us, we’re just going out to steal a handbag. [Link]


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Posted: December 20th, 2011
at 5:04am by Black Ock

Categories: myninjaplease,crime,politricks,fo' real?

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My Ninja, Please! 11.30.11: Satanic Sex Rituals

Now… Do these really look like the faces of…

Two Satanic ladies with a blood fetish??

Two Milwaukee women are under arrest today for the ritualistic stabbing of a teenager during what started as consensual sex but rapidly got out of hand.

The two women, Rebecca Chandler and Raven "Scarlett" Larrabee are alleged to have stabbed a teenage male over 300 times during the course of their sexual encounter. The encounter began consensually when Chandler took the unidentified back to her apartment. Shortly after engaging in intercourse, "Raven," identified as a practitioner of satanic ritual and a student of the occult, joined in with the couple.

The male told police that he was tied up with duct tape and cut many times over the course of two days. [Link]


I’m not sure there’s anything to even be said here besides… MY NINJA, PLEASE!  What is this… The Craft?!



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Posted: November 30th, 2011
at 12:49pm by Black Ock

Categories: crime,not ninja-worthy,fo' real?

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Quote of the Day

Only in OWS…

When I met him, Hipster Cop was wearing a bright red Mister Rogers cardigan and a white button down with a clipped tie, grey wool slacks and spotless oxfords, a smirk on his face. He was the most sharply-dressed guy I had seen pretty much all week, and I work in Soho. Hipster Cop almost looked too well-dressed to be a Radiohead fan; like, maybe he only listened to LPs of obscure Japanese bands from the 80s. But I asked if he was bummed about Radiohead’s no-show: "They’re finished," he joked. "Nobody’s going to listen to their music anymore." - Adrian Chen #source

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Posted: October 25th, 2011
at 11:41am by Black Ock

Categories: crime,quote of the day

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WNA 9.26.11: Pharmacist Fired for Bustin’ Back at Robbers

Like the title says this is the story of a regular dude, like your or me, mindin’ his own business, doing his lil’ Walgreens, community vibe, basically vibin’ out, when a couple robbers/hoodlums/general miscreants come in to rob his joint.

Now, the average pharmacist would just hand over the Oxycontin (trust me) and be done with it, maybe take a Valium afterward or something, you know, for his nerves - but not this dude.  Because this dude, being the average ninja indeed, was not only packing his own piece, but also took exception to the fact that one of the robbers tried to shoot him in the dome. When the robber’s gun jammed, this ninja pharmacist pulled out his own jammy and started capping at fools.

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He may or may not have yelled: "I’m reloaded!" before firing the first shot.

Well, as it happens, apparently shooting guns is frowned upon in Walgreens establishments (a vast departure from Walmart) - and so they fired this guy. Besides the fact that he was just protecting himself, I say my ninjas, please, to Walgreens executives. I’d hire this fool any day. Especially to guard my stash.

Now the man is suing for wrongful termination, and I say good for him.  Jeremy Hoven, you are a true ninja.*

Back in May, Walgreens pharmacist Jeremy Hoven was working the graveyard shift at the Benton Harbor, Michigan store with three other employees when two masked gunmen ran into the store and attempted a stick-up. As Hoven was dialing 911, one of the gunmen hopped the counter, aimed his piece at him, and, according to Hoven, began "jerking the gun’s trigger."

As it turned out, Hoven was packing himself, having procured a concealed-weapon permit after the same store was robbed when he was working there in 2007. So he blasted off several shots, and the failed drugstore cowboys vamoosed right quick.

You would think the company would applaud Hoven for protecting the contents of the cash register, but no. For his troubles, Hoven was terminated a week later for violating Walgreens’ "non-escalation policy," as well as company policy that forbids employees from carrying weapons at work.#original story + #where we found it

*all weekly ninja award winners are paid a promotional fee of free.99 per appearance.

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Posted: September 26th, 2011
at 10:21am by Black Ock

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Categories: hood status,youtube,crime,weekly ninja award

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Guardians of Time Arrested

Apparently, artist Manfred Kielnhofer‘s  giant red nomadic statues, originally set up for an exhibition, have been arrested by the Italian Police for suspicious behavior.

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Seriously - we got this e-mail just the other day:

Please help:
The Guardians of Time were arrested by police at the St. Mark’s Square in Venice and taken into custody. Has anyone observed, photographed or filmed the seizure of the four life-sized red sculptures "Guard Time" on Wednesday 
afternoon August 31st, 2011?

We ask your assistance by sending photos of of the arrest.
The red giant sculptures were carried by four policemen to the nearby police station on 
Piazza San Marco.
Time Guards "Madonna" light sculptures are made by the artist Manfred Kielnhofer. Please send your photos to info @

Thanks for your help.

Given that I just watched A Night On Earth, this is hard for me to believe.

This may be just an attempt at revving up interest before The Goodwood Revival (bless our investigative skills).  We’ll give him his due exposure, considering that those things bear a resemblance to our Dark Lords

Photos of the actual arrestees here.

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Posted: September 19th, 2011
at 11:59am by Black Ock

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Categories: art,crime,contemporary,fo' real?

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Videotaping of Police NOT Illegal

If you watch the YouTube video below, you’ll see evidence of a cop harassing a civilian for filming an arrest.  In several states it appears that federal wiretapping laws have been used to justify this sort of behavior by the police, effectively putting you in their crosshairs for interfering with a police investigation, illegal wiretapping, or worse. (original story courtesy of: boingboing )

In a victory for all camera-phone ninjas everywhere, young and old, a Federal circuit court in the state of MA has ruled that filiming the coppers is an unambiguously constitutionally protected right.  For most of us, that’s mere common sense, for the police department, however, the news couldn’t be worse.

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Undeterred, in February 2010, Glik filed suit in federal court against the officers and the City of Boston under 42 U.S.C. § 1983 and the MassachusettsCivil Rights Act.  Glik alleged that the police officers violated his First Amendment right to record police activity in public and that  the officers violated his Fourth Amendment rights by arresting him without probable cause to believe a crime had occurred.

Naturally, the police officers moved to dismiss on the basis of qualified immunity, but Judge Young was having none of that, denying the motion from the bench and ruling that "in the First Circuit . . . this First Amendment right publicly to record the activities of police officers on public business is established."  The police officers then appealed to the First Circuit, but they have now struck out on appeal as well, with the First Circuit ruling that "Glik was exercising clearly-established First Amendment rights in filiming the officers in a public space, and that his clearly-established Fourth Amendment rights were violated by his arrest without probable cause." .::Citizens Media Law

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Posted: September 8th, 2011
at 2:48pm by Black Ock

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Categories: hood status,crime,politricks,real life news,law

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Six Strike Rule for Pirates?

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Posted: July 8th, 2011
at 8:42am by mnp

Categories: crime,law

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My Ninja, Please! 6.9.11 : Pool Ethics

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Posted: June 9th, 2011
at 1:08pm by mnp

Categories: myninjaplease,crime,ninjas are everyehere,ethics

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Are Artists Liars?

Shortly before his death, Marlon Brando was working on a series of instructional videos about acting, to be called "Lying for a Living". On the surviving footage, Brando can be seen dispensing gnomic advice on his craft to a group of enthusiastic, if somewhat bemused, Hollywood stars, including Leonardo Di Caprio and Sean Penn. Brando also recruited random people from the Los Angeles street and persuaded them to improvise (the footage is said to include a memorable scene featuring two dwarves and a giant Samoan). "If you can lie, you can act," Brando told Jod Kaftan, a writer for Rolling Stone and one of the few people to have viewed the footage. "Are you good at lying?" asked Kaftan. "Jesus," said Brando, "I’m fabulous at it."

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Posted: June 5th, 2011
at 11:40am by mnp

Categories: hood status,myninjaplease,life,art,crime,too good to be true,film,fo' real?,"ninja",ethics

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