Archive for February, 2008

Military in Motion 2/26


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Posted: February 26th, 2008
at 8:18am by Koookiecrumbles

Categories: hood status

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Small Pecker Syndrome

[UPDATE: this video link was killed earlier today by a certain corporate entity, thus we are sincerely sorry]
As advertised…

This is a truly interesting documentary about the one thing men don’t want to talk about and the one thing that men constantly think about: wee wee’s.

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Posted: February 25th, 2008
at 12:40pm by Black Ock

Categories: life,mnp is for the children,fo' real?,2 hours on the internet,boredom killer,documentary

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Stuff White People Like

ronald reagan? my ninja, please!

I would like to write a lot about this site, but it’s just too classic and it would be libelous. We wish we would have thought of this idea first. Some of our favorites:

#64: Recycling

This is important because all white feel guilty about producing waste. It doesna€™t stop them from doing it, but they feel guilty about it. Deep down, they believe they should be like the Native Americans and use every part of the product or beast they have consumed. Though for many white people, this simply means putting plastic bags into a special drawer where they will accumulate until they are eventually used to carry some gym clothes or bathing suit. Ultimately this drawer will get full and only be emptied when the person moves to a new house. Advanced white recyclers will uses these grocery bags as garbage bags.

#63: Expensive Sandwiches
In most cities, if you need to find a cache of white people get yourself to a sandwich shop. Generally these places arena€™t open for dinner, have a panini press and are famous for their bread. There are always vegan options and the selection of meats and cheese are strongly European.

#58: Japan

Though there is full white consensus on a number of white things, there is perhaps nothing that draws more universal white acclaim than the island nation of Japan. It should be noted, that some white people harbor SOME ill will toward Japan because of whaling, killing dolphins or Nanking. But those are generally considered isolated incidents that do not indict the entire nation.

White people love Japan for a number of reasons. Sushi is pretty much the biggest one, since white people have spent so much time Sushi restaurants, enjoying the food, learning about how to eat it, and how to be snobby about it. This natural curiousity fills them with a need to pay a visit to Tsukiji and taste the freshest Sushi possible.

We could continue forever with quotes from this site but it would be indecent. What you should do is take yourself over there and check it out. It’s major hilarity.

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Posted: February 25th, 2008
at 10:53am by Black Ock

Categories: too good to be true,web

Comments: 2 comments

Obama Thrives on MNP ‘Bump’ - Receives New Backers


Think it’s a coincidence that Barack Obama won 11 straight primaries since our official Feb. 8th endorsement? My Ninja, Please! As my little brother would say, "you must be on that water!"

Unsurprisingly, he is not the first candidate to ride the well-known MyNinjaPlease boost to success. In 1998 Gray Davis of California fame successfully defeated two better-funded democrats in the governor race thanks to a mention on MNP megasite, RobotNinja.

When MNP rescinded its endorsement of tycoon Ross Perot, his campaign - just then growing in momentum - came to a griding halt.

With that said, we felt like it was once again time for the plot to thicken, for MNP to drop another bombshell on your unsuspecting heads.

slystallonebig1505_468x550.jpg norris_jeans_ad.jpg

You might have heard that Chuck Norris recently endorsed Mike "Small Axe" Huckabee in his bid for the white house. In response, the Governator teamed up with Sylvester "Still-got-it’ StalloneAA and came out in fervent support of John "Lymph Nodes" McCain. Obama (not to be confused with the president from Elektra Assassin) had no response to the formation of what would inevitably be a triad, but by all accounts the presidential hopeful was severely shaken. Up until that moment the ass-kicking potential of his campaign had never been in doubt, with almost 70% of potential voters agreeing that he could "smack the sh*&" out of any of the other candidates as recently as a month ago. Campaign aides were reportedly quivering in fear of "the big two" and the almost inevitable ass-kickery coming their way.

Here’s a quote from an aide who wished to remain anonymous:

It wasn’t so much, the first one that scared me. I mean… I’ve seen "The Octagon" and I wasn’t impressed really except by the mustachios; but Rambo, son? My Ninja, Please!

Not to worry, though, Obama supporters worldwide have a new aide in the fight against Hilary and the republican corps. Action hero Jean Claude Van Damme was sighted in close proximity of the O-man, this past weekend. Could this mean that Mr. Van Damme could soon be endorsing our favorite candidate. Close sources say yes, the rumors are true.


To quote Uncle Ruckus on the possibility of a Van Damme endorsement:

"Jean Claude Van Damme is the greatest fighter of all time. He can crush a grown man’s head between his butt cheeks!"

Other action heroes are also rumored to be joining the Obama camp, including Mr. T and Mr. Miagi, both official "Misters" whose titles added to the list of the B-Man’s supporters could bring a slew of other influential windfalls.

mr-t.jpg miagi_complac.jpg

If these rumors are true, and we think they are, we could be in for a level of ass-beatery previously unseen in a presidential election (in America).

"The action hero ‘bump’, while unanticipated and for some, unwelcome, could end up being almost as significant as the MNP bump this year… but only time will tell" - Anderson Cooper


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Posted: February 25th, 2008
at 8:35am by Black Ock

Categories: myninjaplease,too good to be true,mnp is for the children,politricks,9th dan

Comments: 3 comments

Classic Ish of the Week #1

Elektra Assassin


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Posted: February 25th, 2008
at 6:51am by Black Ock

Categories: art,mnp is for the children

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Keynote Speakers : Minister Louis Farrakhan


They say when war is fought the first casualty is truth.


A couple of days ago Kosovo declared its independence. That doesn’t mean anything to you- you haven’t declared yours yet.


Look man, there’s no racism in a foxhole.


I didn’t tell anybody who to vote for.


‘I don’t think Barack is black enough’- he wasn’t supposed to be.


My brother Marvin raised a good question. What’s going on?

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Posted: February 24th, 2008
at 9:27pm by Koookiecrumbles

Categories: life,mnp is for the children,keynote speakers

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The Age of American Unreason by Susan Jacoby

Half a century ago, the political historian Richard Hofstadter wrote: "The widespread distrust of intellectuals in America reflects a tendency to depreciate their playfulness and distrust their piety. Ours is a society in which every form of play seems to be accepted by the majority except the play of the mind."

Hofstadter expanded that theme in his Pulitzer Prize-winning 1963 book, "Anti-Intellectualism in American Life," which ranged across education, politics and religion. In documenting a majoritarian and nativist bias, it became what Hofstadter biographer David S. Brown termed "one of the most troubling criticisms of American democracy ever written."

What we have in Susan Jacoby’s "The Age of American Unreason" is an attempt to update Hofstadter. He had concluded that intellectuals "have tried to be good and believing citizens of a democratic society and at the same time to resist the vulgarization of culture which that society constantly produces," and in many ways Jacoby’s book concentrates on that vulgarization. She decries junk thought and junk science, youth culture, celebrity culture, degradation of the language, television, screen technologies for infants, innumeracy and other forms of cultural illiteracy. A particular concern — not as vulgarization but as an overweening, deleterious influence on public policy — is religious fundamentalism.

"During the past four decades," Jacoby writes, "America’s endemic anti-intellectual tendencies have been grievously exacerbated by a new species of semiconscious anti-rationalism, feeding on and fed by an ignorant popular culture of video images and unremitting noise that leaves no room for contemplation or logic." at latimes

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Posted: February 23rd, 2008
at 7:14pm by Koookiecrumbles

Categories: web,mnp is for the children,photo

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Where is Diego Garcia?

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Posted: February 23rd, 2008
at 7:05pm by Koookiecrumbles

Categories: web,fo' real?

Comments: 2 comments

Quote of the day


a€oeThere are no new colors to see and very few new sounds, but we are actually creating new, unique smells no one has ever smelled before,a€A Mr. Polan said. It is, quite literally, as if a paint company could make a new shade of blue.

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Posted: February 23rd, 2008
at 7:01pm by Koookiecrumbles

Categories: myninjaplease,design,quote of the day

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