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My Ninja, Please! 3.02.11: Fake-A$$ Carnival

I'm pretty sure I've seen this one before, on Encore

A new year show put on by a touring circus in the Belarusian city of Vitebsk was so awful that police were called in, local media report.

Spectators suspected the Russian performers of being drunk as artistes repeatedly fell off bicycles and jugglers dropped their props.

Exotic beasts, including two species apparently plucked from the realms of fantasy, did not show up.

The circus said later the missing animals had been stopped by customs.

The director of Vitebsk’s palace of sport, where the circus was performing, told Belarusian newspaper Komsomolskaya Pravda that the tickets would be refunded.

Igor Kalmuk added that his lawyers were working to recover the money from the circus, which reportedly left Vitebsk soon after being interviewed by police.

A Belarussian police spokesman said an investigation was under way into whether a crime had been committed.

I’ve seen this happen before… except when I called the police on my local UPN channel in 1999 they ended up arresting ME for false police reports. Finally, years later, I feel vindicated. Homeboys in outer space was at least as bad as this carnival.

Local people said a new year spectacular of this magnitude was a rare event for Vitebsk, the city in northern Belarus made famous by artist Marc Chagall.

Posters had promised a show featuring "jugglers and midgets, fantasy heroes and performing animals", put on by the Student Association of Kostroma, a city in central Russia.

Black bears were billed along with performing crocodiles and monkeys and "orcs and turantons". (Check Out the Article from BBC)

Wait a damn second… a spectacle of WHAT magnitude exactly? Any magnitude? I wouldn’t give these people a dime, considering they were obviously dumb enough to believe that there were Orcs and Unicorns and whatnot gonna be at this carnival. First of all, is this or is this not Belarus? Even if Orcs really existed, they’d probably avoid Belarus on account of the (apparent) primitive charm and docile, semi-re-re, population. Anybody living in a place like this should already know, no excuse. There are lost of creatures you won’t find in Belarus, among them, Orcs, Unicorns, Faeries, Black People, Ninjas, Wilderbeasts (although, I’m unclear on that last one, you can take the others to the bank). Continuing…

"When the show started, they had a few poodles and one crocodile, and the artistes kept falling off their bicycles," said Mr Kalmuk.

Angry spectators began demanding their money back during the interval and someone called the police.

A rumour went around that the performers were drunk. "How else can you explain that one fell off their bike three times in two minutes?" one spectator told Komsomolskaya Pravda.

As a result, other performances were cancelled, and circus performers were interrogated and even tested for alcohol. As it turned out, they were sober, Komsomolskaya Pravda wrote on Tuesday.

The administrator of the circus, Yekaterina Kudasheva, was quoted by Mr Kalmuk as saying, variously, that some of the promised animals had "got stuck at customs" or "were outside Moscow".

"Oh… uh, my bad. The Orcs, ya see, they got held up in the TSA nekkid booty scanners and got stuck in a place far away from Middle Earth, known as ‘Outside Moscow.'" MY NINJA, PLEASE. As for the crocodile and the poodles, let it be said that beggars ought not be choosers.


"For 70,000 roubies he eat human child"
"For 70,000 roubies he eat human child"



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Posted: March 2nd, 2011
at 7:14am by Black Ock

Tagged with , ,

Categories: hood status,myninjaplease,mnp is for the children,real life news

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