Big Clem’s Update

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*roger clemens is not in fact a homosexual

For those of you ninjas who ain’t educated enough to be watchin’ a show like 60 Minutes and also for ya’ll ninjas that are too educated to be watchin’ that crap, we just thought we’d tell you that Rocket ‘Roider Clemens was on there last night, more or less denying that he ever did steroids.

Now I can’t claim to have personal knowledge of whether or not his lying ass did steroids, so I won’t claim to; nor will I show any bias against his testosterone injected big old h-g-h-having-done head. Let’s just say that his answers to the questions were dubious at best. His defense of himself was very Barry Bond-ish in its "Well, it doesn’t matter because how could I even prove I was telling the truth, anyway"-ness. Nonetheless, it was an interesting interview.

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That’s kind of old news though because we all knew that Mr. My-Shoulders-Are-Six-Times-Broader-Than-My-Hips was on steroids anyway. I know he has a ill crazy training regimen but I mean, come on… So does Ladanian Tomlinson. Nobody grows twice as diesel after 35 as they were beforehand. That’s like if LT just started eating people all the sudden.

I mean, come on people, you have to look at the warning signs. Hell, they should get me a job on the Mitchell Report thing, cuz I could damn sure point out a few more suspicious characters.

jason giambi

Anyway, I’m gonna cover my ass in the most journalistic way possible and end this rant by saying that I could be wrong, but I’m probably not. What do you people think? We thought we should keep you updated since we posted on this last week. He probably should have gone the Andy Petite route and just admitted it. This site seems to be coverin’ the event quite well.

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Posted: January 7th, 2008
at 3:22am by Black Ock


Categories: not ninja-worthy,games,real life news

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