This is a beastly ten-paragraph open letter from Steely Dan to Luke Wilson about a little problem they have. The problem, though, isn’t even with Luke, it’s with his brother Owen and his role in the new movie, "You, Me and Dupree."

Apparently, and I’m sorry Steely Dan, but I wasn’t aware, they have a song about a down and out slacker named Dupree, and they seem to be quite heated that their character has a namesake in a terrible Hollywood movie.

Read past the excerpts from the letter to hear Owen’s response…

Some juicy gems from the letter:

"Hey man - it’s, like, Don and Walt, we’re the guys from Steely Dan, the group, we won those grammies that time, maybe you recall?…

…well, man, something kind of uncool has come to our attention and we’ve got to, like, do something or say something before the scene gets out of our control and something even more uncool happens…

…It’s your little brother Owen C. that’s the problem. We realize what a drag it is for you to have people coming to you about his lameness all the time and we’re really sorry to be doing the same thing…

…But, hey, Luke, man - there is one petite solid you could do for us at this time - do you think you could persuade your bro to do the right thing and come on down to our Concert at Irvine and apologize to our fans for this travesty?…Otherwise, if this business goes unresolved, there are some pretty heavy people who are upset about this whole thing and we can’t guarantee what kind of heat little Owen may be bringing down on himself…

…there can sometimes be some very harsh trips that go down. Your bro may be creating an extremely retrograde reality matrix for himself with his whole sellout moviestar game and there may be some righteous dues to pay, amen…

…For example, there’s this guy who works for us sometimes, he’s not necessarily the kind of folks you want to know or hang with, but if you happen to get in a barfight or some kind of hassle in a foreign country, he’s your best fucking friend in the world…you know what a Navy Seal is, right? Well, this dude’s like that, only he’s Russian…I mean, one time we saw this guy, WITH HIS BARE HANDS, do something so unspeakable that - but, hey man, let’s not even let it get that way, you know?…P.S. Tell Owen to bring his bongos if he wants to sit in -"

Wow. WOW. Steely Dan is gangsta. Hahahaha. I mean, truth be told, I’m no big fan of Owen Wilson either and you’d have to kill me to drag me into "You, Me and Dupree," but seriously, Steely Dan, you ninjas need to get a life. That letter is too hi-larious.

I’m sure that’s what Owen Wilson was thinking when he gave this response:

"I have never heard the song ‘Cousin Dupree’ and I don’t even know who this gentleman, Mr. Steely Dan, is. I hope this helps to clear things up and I can get back to concentrating on my new movie, ‘HEY 19.'"

For all y’all young ninjas, "Hey Nineteen" was another Steely Dan song released in the 70s.
Now, we got mad ninja inductees. Owen Wilson and the fools from Steely Dan!

Steely Dan’s letter from their website

Owen’s response on MyWay News

via FreeWilliamsburg