Archive for the ‘not ninja-worthy’ Category

Realest Ninja Alive Act IV: Limbaugh VS Alex Keaton

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The battle between Freddy Foxxx and Rakim the Master still rages on. Cam’ron stands in the darkness holding his bling. Martha Stewart prowls through the night. And somewhere, in between earth and hell, another battle rages to determine who is [ahem] THE REALEST NINJA ALIVE!!! orangemenace reports live from the scene:

VS

So…Rush seems to have hit a new low, attacking Michael J. Fox recently for ‘faking/over exaggerating’ his Parkinson’s symptoms. I don’t know if Rush is actually nuts [although I would say probably] or if maybe his illegal immigrant/underpaid maid screwed up the illegal prescription medications in his bathroom [oh, you don’t remember all that?]. Either way, Fox is one of the most recent people to get attacked on personal grounds for being involved in something Limbaugh is against [in this case, Fox has been doing ads for stem cell research…something we won’t get into here].

So check out is this [amusing] article from Slate on the recent verbal assault, and Limbaugh’s general insanity. Here’s a taste:

"I once had a friend who listened to Rush Limbaugh three hours a day. He was a Republican operative. He sat in my apartment, wearing headphones, while I worked. He swore that if I put on the headphones for 10 minutes, I’d be hooked. So I put them on.
Inside the headphones was another world. Everyone in this world thought the same way, except liberals, and they were only cartoon characters, to be defeated as though in a video game. In the real world, my friend was unemployed and had been staying with me, rent-free, for two months. But inside the headphones, he could laugh about welfare bums instead of pounding the pavement."

I refuse to actually link to Rush, so you can search for the specific comments yourself, although I would advise against it. But like I said, check the Slate article.

[note: Mike’s previously mentioned breakout character, Alex Keaton, was a staunch republican. ah the irony…]

And we’re not quite sure who’s gonna win this one folks… but stay tuned! One things for sure, winner of these faces either Foxxx or Rakim. My money’s on fox. The crown would love to see Fox vs. Foxxx.

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Posted: October 30th, 2006
at 10:50am by orangemenace


Categories: myninjaplease,not ninja-worthy,politricks

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My Ninja, Please! 10/26/06: Cammo Day at School

This school in Florida does some type of anti-drug week every year to commemorate some dude who died back in the 80’s [I know you like the abridged version].AA Basically some teacher decided that it was a good idea for all the kids to wearAAmilitary fatiguesAAto school to symbolize the "fight against drugs."AA

AAcammo.bmp

AA

"Hey, Cooper, guess who forgot their fatigues?"
"Probably that loser girl, Emily.AA Let’s show her how we do down here in Guantanamo"

AA

AA

First of all, my silly ninja, it’s called the "war on drugs"… and it involves real troops in cammo’s, not school children.AA Yes, motherfudgers are (and have been since back in the day)AAdying as a result of this war itself, not to even mention the current war going on.

And even in peace time, when is it appropriate for kids to come to school like it’s Kuwait in ’94, whatAAwith all the damned school shootings going down these days!AA I would like to say to the principal of this school, My Ninja, Please use your common sense.

"I’m just not getting the camouflage," said Angie Arellano, whose sixth-grade son opted out. "With everything going on in the world, I really don’t get it." She suggested more lighthearted alternatives, such as "wear your jeans inside out" or "wear opposite shoes." She said she planned to have a long talk with her son about war and violence in response to the event.

Original Article from Washington Post

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Posted: October 26th, 2006
at 2:40pm by black octagons


Categories: myninjaplease,not ninja-worthy,real life news

Comments: 3 comments


My Ninja, Please! 10/18/06: Teachers Up Their Shooting Skills

Teachers in Salt Lake City are learning to aim loaded guns in the event of armed students entering their classroom.

I’ll go out on a limb [heh] and say that while upping their skills they might end up shooting themselves in the foot.

"We train that anything is a distraction," he said. "Anything that you can throw. Your movement, your noise. We need to get out of this victim mindset. We need to get out of the belief that just because he has the gun and I don’t, doesn’t mean I have lost."

Wait a damn second! My dude, if he has the gun and you don’t, you have definitely lost. Ok, my good buddy? That’s when you need to get into the victim mindset and start crying or something, not out of it!

My ninjas, please!

full article at cbsnews

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Posted: October 18th, 2006
at 9:17am by Koookiecrumbles


Categories: myninjaplease,not ninja-worthy,weaponry

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I Used To Hate on Cena

But since hes proclaimed that "Hes [KFED] got like John Cena street cred and less talent then Paris Hilton," hes alright.

video at us.video.aol

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Posted: October 18th, 2006
at 9:12am by Koookiecrumbles


Categories: celebrity,not ninja-worthy,mnp is for the children

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Idiots and Politics

A list of the top ten dumbest congressmen (and women).

10. Senator Jim Bunning (R-KY)

Bunning is a Hall of Fame pitcher who, during his eight years in office, has shown "little interest in legislation that doesn’t concern baseball," writes Time magazine. And Kentucky doesn’t even have a major-league baseball team. His campaign style is so completely unhinged that political observers openly speculated in 2004 that the then-73-year-old was suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s. "His is a tragic case of descent into senility," says one Hill staffer, "except without the ‘descent’ bit." To scotch the rumors, Bunning was forced to hold a press conference and offer up doctor’s reports. AA

Among his antics that year: Telling a group of GOP fundraisers that his Italian-American opponent, Daniel Mongiardo, physically resembled Saddam Hussein’s sons, Uday and Qusay; referring on the stump to the tragic terror attacks of November 11, 2001; and adding a federal security detail to his campaign in the firm conviction that members of Al Qaedaa€"the masterminds of November 11a€"had targeted him for elimination. ("There may be strangers among us," he darkly informed a Paducah TV crew.)

The piece de resistance, though, was a debate with Mongiardo: Bunning notified event organizers at the eleventh hour that he was tied up with legislative business in Washington and would have to participate via satellite. During the event it was painfully obvious that the incumbent was delivering his debate points with the aid of a teleprompter, violating the event’s ground rules. And whatever urgent business Bunning claimed to be in town for couldn’t have had anything to do with his joba€"the Senate had gone into recess the previous Monday.

If you’re roliing as hard as I was, check out the full list via Radar Online, a special report.

[Ed. Thanks to Pheez for sending in the last two]

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Posted: October 17th, 2006
at 10:17am by black octagons


Categories: too good to be true,not ninja-worthy,politricks

Comments: 1 comment


Further Proof that Big Brother has arrived

"By 2016, I’ll make you a bet. We’ll have [cameras on] almost every block."

- Mayor Daley of Chicago

Via Chicago Sun Times

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Posted: October 12th, 2006
at 9:06pm by Pheezatron


Categories: not ninja-worthy,politricks,real life news

Comments: 1 comment


All of The Manuals Ever

Forgot how to record Baywatch while you’re out on the town? Show no shame, find it here! [Ed. the worst post you will ever see on mnp]
usersmanualguide.com

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Posted: October 12th, 2006
at 2:32pm by Koookiecrumbles


Categories: not ninja-worthy

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My Ninja, Please! 10/05/06: My Ninjas, Please.

knack1.jpg

The nerve of some people… read this article.

"A few weeks back, we wrote about the story of how 1970s one-hit-wonder The Knack had suddenly noticed that Run DMC had sampled their 1979 song "My Sharona" in Run DMC’s 1986 hit "It’s Tricky." So, even though this was twenty years after that had happened, they decided to sue for copyright infringement. Perhaps the royalties on that one hit were finally starting to dwindle. Of course, as we noted at the time, there is a statute of limitations to deal with: apparently it’s three years. So, how do you get around that? Easy. You just sue for every time the song was purchased in the past three years. And, of course, why stop at suing just Run DMC? Why not sue the online retailers who sold the song in the past three years. Stephen Bryant has looked deeper into the lawsuit and found that Yahoo, Apple and Amazon are also charged with copyright infringement in the case, for having the gall to sell a popular music hit from 1986 that The Knack just noticed sampled a portion of its song. If you’re wondering why it’s only the online retailers that are being sued (I certainly am), the reasoning from the lawyer involved is that: "because they copied and sold the infringing work." This, of course, makes no sense. They copied and sold the song because the labels that believed they had the right to it, gave it to them to do so. That’s the exact same way that those labels gave brick-and-mortar stores, such as Wal-Mart (who is not being sued) the song in CD format. They "copied" the song onto the CD and then "sold" it. The more you read about this case, the more it sounds like a desperate attempt to get some extra publicity for a band well past its prime."

Ok, first of all… look at these "ninjas" (and i use that term loosely):

knack.jpg

Here we have what looks to be like, from left to right, a male cheerleader, one of the Hardy boys, a dude wearing… stockings?… and next to him… a kid who is in total crisis mode. I mean, this young man has nooo idea what he wants to be when he grows up. And none of them seem aware that time waits for no one, ironically.

knack1.gif

And there they are all grown up. Are these fools seriously trying to sue Run-DMC? And *gasp* where are their prom dates? And why are they all holding their belt buckles? These are questions we may never answer… and here we are sitting around talking about a law suit. Ah well… at least these cats stayed together.

the_knack.jpg

Oops, spoke too soon. Look at the cat in the middle… doesn’t he look pissed that the one dude is gone? And doesn’t the guy on the left know that scarves are so last year (regardless of when the photo was taken). And guess what happened to the one who was in crisis mode? That’s him on the right. His condition hasn’t improved much.

Ladies and gentlemen, we wish we could tell them to their faces: My ninjas, please.

Original Story from TechDirt

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Posted: October 5th, 2006
at 12:03pm by black octagons


Categories: myninjaplease,not ninja-worthy

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In the City

This pretty much goes hand in hand with myninjaplease today’sAADesign Monday.

"One of the worst case scenarios in regards to the sweatshop issue is the El Monte crackdown that happened back in August of 1995. 71 workers were held against their will at a gated community in El Monte. They were forced to work up to 18 hours a day and paid only $2 an hour, because the bosses claimed that they owed them a debt. It had been going on for 7 years, and the worst part is that they were producing clothes for major manufacturers."

Article from losangeles.broowaha

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Posted: October 2nd, 2006
at 11:29am by Koookiecrumbles


Categories: crime,not ninja-worthy,business

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