So, John McCain, previously identified as Skeletor (vs. Obama’s ruddy zombie Rob Kennedy), has once again tried to pull a fast one and delay the presidential debate and suspend the campaign. His reason? Supposedly, this is too much of a hectic time to have a debate… but I saw a talking head on CNN who made a great point: we had a presidential election in 1864 when Sherman was marching on Atlanta. What kind of nonsense is McCain trying to pull?
This is all because of Palin, I bet, not being ready, and being on the verge of getting laughed out of the room when she goes up against Biden. This has already been such a strange campaign, nut now this? Dude may be going senile early.
Since when is McCain, anyway, qualified in any way to help solve the financial crisis? Saying that he has to rush back to Washington is actually worse than a “My Ninja, Please” – it’s a big LIE. This is also coming from a guy who once said “the issue of economics is not something I’ve understood as well as I should. I’ve got Greenspan’s book” amongst other memorable quotes.
This is also coming from a guy who has missed 412 votes in this current congress. Yes, since the last congressional election. That’s more than 100 votes more than Obama and TWICE what anybody else who ran for president (including Hillary) missed.
I guess, what can you expect from the most ignorant campaign in history: tax cuts for the rich, drill, baby drill… etc. My ninjas… please?
I have to admit – I don’t think I ever saw an episode of the ‘West Wing’ [there's this thing called the news...and a President called Bush...that's about all the white house entertainment I needed]. That said, this op-ed from Maureen Dowd’s column in the NY Times was killin me – here’s an excerpt:
[FYI: Bartlet was, apparently, the president in the show 'West Wing', played by Martin Sheen. The following quote is a meeting between Obama and the fictional president, as conjured by the show's creator]
BARTLET Youâ€™d do very well on NBC. Thursday nights in the old â€œERâ€ time slot with â€œ30 Rockâ€ as your lead-in, youâ€™d get seven, seven-five in the demo with a 20, 22 share â€” youâ€™d be selling $450,000 minutes.
OBAMA What the hell does that mean?
BARTLET TV talk. I thought youâ€™d be interested.
OBAMA Iâ€™m not. They pivoted off the argument that I was inexperienced to the criticism that Iâ€™m â€” wait for it â€” the Messiah, who, by the way, was a community organizer. When I speak I try to lead with inspiration and aptitude. How is that a liability?
BARTLET Because the idea of American exceptionalism doesnâ€™t extend to Americans being exceptional. If you excelled academically and are able to casually use 690 SAT words then you might as well have the press shoot video of you giving the finger to the Statue of Liberty while the Dixie Chicks sing the University of the Taliban fight song. The people who want English to be the official language of the United States are uncomfortable with their leaders being fluent in it.
OBAMA Youâ€™re saying race doesnâ€™t have anything to do with it?
BARTLET I wouldnâ€™t go that far. Brains made me look arrogant but they make you look uppity. Plus, if you had a black daughter â€”
BARTLET Hang on. Home run. Right here. Is there any chance you could get Michelle pregnant before the fall sweeps?
OBAMA The problem is we canâ€™t appear angry. Bush called us the angry left. Did you see anyone in Denver who was angry?
BARTLET Well … let me think. …We went to war against the wrong country, Osama bin Laden just celebrated his seventh anniversary of not being caught either dead or alive, my familyâ€™s less safe than it was eight years ago, weâ€™ve lost trillions of dollars, millions of jobs, thousands of lives and we lost an entire city due to bad weather. So, you know … Iâ€™m a little angry.
OBAMA What would you do?
BARTLET GET ANGRIER! Call them liars, because thatâ€™s what they are. Sarah Palin didnâ€™t say â€œthanks but no thanksâ€ to the Bridge to Nowhere. She just said â€œThanks.â€ You were raised by a single mother on food stamps â€” where does a guy with eight houses who was legacied into Annapolis get off calling you an elitist? And by the way, if you do nothing else, take that word back. Elite is a good word, it means well above average. Iâ€™d ask them what their problem is with excellence. While youâ€™re at it, I want the word â€œpatriotâ€ back. McCain can say that the transcendent issue of our time is the spread of Islamic fanaticism or he can choose a running mate who doesnâ€™t know the Bush doctrine from the Monroe Doctrine, but he canâ€™t do both at the same time and call it patriotic. They have to lie â€” the truth isnâ€™t their friend right now. Get angry. Mock them mercilessly; theyâ€™ve earned it. McCain decried agents of intolerance, then chose a running mate who had to ask if she was allowed to ban books from a public library. Itâ€™s not bad enough she thinks the planet Earth was created in six days 6,000 years ago complete with a man, a woman and a talking snake, she wants schools to teach the rest of our kids to deny geology, anthropology, archaeology and common sense too? Itâ€™s not bad enough sheâ€™s forcing her own daughter into a loveless marriage to a teenage hood, she wants the rest of us to guide our daughters in that direction too? Itâ€™s not enough that a woman shouldnâ€™t have the right to choose, it should be the law of the land that she has to carry and deliver her rapistâ€™s baby too? I donâ€™t know whether or not Governor Palin has the tenacity of a pit bull, but I know for sure sheâ€™s got the qualifications of one. And youâ€™re worried about seeming angry? You could eat their lunch, make them cry and tell their mamas about it and God himself would call it restrained. There are times when you are simply required to be impolite. There are times when condescension is called for!
OK, guys, I know that hacking a candidate’s e-mail is ignorant and unethical, but, their slogan is “Drill, Baby, Drill.” I say fight fire with fire.[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9kjhC8Yqq8[/youtube]
…and I ain’t no (yes, “ain’t no”) damn economist but… it doesn’t take a genius to realize that drilling in Alaska isn’t going to benefit anybody but the oil industry (and a few Alaskans). What? You think the price of gas is going to go down because of a few hundred million barrels? Maybe temporarily, like, real temporarily. Let me tell you a secret that they won’t, my ninjas. The price of oil is not determined by the supply of oil. Surprise, ninjas!
Anyway… back to the point. I wish this hax0ring of her slutty e-mail box was more hacktivist than it actually turned out to be – but – I love it either way! It’s a shame liberals can’t even take credit for it.
So, it appears that ‘Anonymous’ wasn’t to blame for this hack, but rather it was some college kid somewhere who used the old “google her inf0z” and reset her password trick. Lame, but not as lame as lame duck. It’s actually more resourceful than just brute force cracking the joint, which is what I thought happened.
‘Anonymous’ also released a statement saying that ‘Anonymous’ is not a group (haha) and that the word anonymous is a term used to describe unnamed actors. I, personally, think that is too, too funny. The group that’s not a group releases a statement informing us to stop calling them anonymous. I’ve included another video clip for enjoyment, to counter the blandness of the BS above.
Imagine for a minute that attending the Republican convention in St. Paul, sitting in a skybox overlooking the convention floor, were observers from Russia, Iran and Venezuela. And imagine for a minute what these observers would have been doing when Rudy Giuliani led the delegates in a chant of â€œdrill, baby, drill!â€
Iâ€™ll tell you what they would have been doing: the Russian, Iranian and Venezuelan observers would have been up out of their seats, exchanging high-fives and joining in the chant louder than anyone in the hall â€” â€œYes! Yes! Drill, America, drill!â€ â€” because an America that is focused first and foremost on drilling for oil is an America more focused on feeding its oil habit than kicking it.
Why would Republicans, the party of business, want to focus our country on breathing life into a 19th-century technology â€” fossil fuels â€” rather than giving birth to a 21st-century technology â€” renewable energy? As I have argued before, it reminds me of someone who, on the eve of the I.T. revolution â€” on the eve of PCs and the Internet â€” is pounding the table for America to make more I.B.M. typewriters and carbon paper. â€œTypewriters, baby, typewriters.â€
OK, ninjas. I have an announcement to make. It’s not cool to be making fun of peoples’ religions and stuff. It’s not because I respect religion, or some high-falutin’ nonsense, but rather because they’re basically all the same, for one. Moreover, you know people get extra sensitive when you talk about their chosen deity, so it’s just best to let sleeping dogs lie. So, as you read forward into this next article let me also remind you that while this is weird… it’s less weird than some of ya’lls crochety-ass churches. And that’s my word, as a ninja AND as a scholar.
Ok now read this complete strange-ness and try not to fall out of your chair:
Mike Rose is the senior pastor of Juneau Christian Church, where Governor Sarah Palin attends when in residence in Juneau. The Alaska Update of the Alaska Assemblies of God featured a story on Palin’s attendance at the 2008 Alaska District Council and stated that “Superintendent Ted Boatsman, who was Palin’s junior high pastor at Wasilla Assembly of God, along with Pastor Mike Rose of Juneau Christian Center, where Palin presently attends church when in Juneau, laid hands on the Governor and led the Council in Prayer.”
Rose is well known as far away as Australia for his participation in the “new wave” of the Holy Spirit. Former General Superintendent of the Assemblies of God in Australia, Dr. Andrew Evans, has also been a supporter of the “new wave” and its manifestations which he lists as falling, shaking and drunkenness (in the Spirit),and uncontrollable weeping and laughing. (He has been a controversial figure for his belief that these manifestations would aid in church growth in his denomination in Australia although these activities have been repeatedly denounced as Deviant Behavior by the U.S. General Council.) Evans writes about Rose’s ability to manage these manifestations in his church without excessive disruption of services. He also notes that Rose had been an advisor to Rodney Howard-Browne’s Revival Ministries committee and had “sat in over 110 of Rodney’s meetings.” Andrew Evans went on to found the Family First Party of Australia.
Rodney Howard-Browne is one of the most controversial and publicized figures of the Third Wave movement. While many of the leaders have been almost invisible in the mainstream media, Howard-Browne and his Holy Laughter anointing have been covered by CNN , Time, Newsweek, PBS, and numerous British media outlets. Howard-Browne refers to himself in many of these articles as the “Holy Ghost bartender.”
He is also one of the most controversial figures in the Evangelical world and is the subject of many hundreds of internet pages from other Evangelical and Fundamentalists discernment groups who view his unusual revival manifestations such as uncontrollable laughter, weeping, shrieking, and animal noises, as cultic. Other conservative Christians also find fault with Howard-Browne’s end time belief that a unified and purified church is currently being restored through a “great awakening” that is manifesting itself through these “signs and wonders.” Howard-Browne, like the other leaders of the Third Wave, believe that they are raising a great end time army that will take control of the world through spiritual warfare, and triumph over Satan before the millennial reign of Jesus. Many in the movement, such as C. Peter Wagner believe that the Apostolic age began in 2001. John Bevere, author of curriculum for the Master’s Commission of Wasilla Assembly of God, believes that he is teaching the final generation before the Millennial which he calculates will begin in 2028 or 2029.
Rodney Howard-Browne and his family moved from South Africa to the United States in 1987, and settled in the Lakeland/Tampa area after having a successful revival at the church of Karl Strader, Lakeland’s first Assemblies of God, Karl is father of Stephen Strader of Ignited Church and the current Lakeland Revival fame. Howard-Browne and his wife continued to lead revivals around the world and often worked closely with the late John Wimber of the Vineyard movement and the the Kansas City Prophets. They introduced hyper-charismatic activities in widely publicized revivals in both the United States and Great Britain including the Toronto Airport Blessing which began in 1994, and drew people worldwide to experience the phenomenon. Howard-Brown is also credited with a role in the Brownsville Revival, 1995, and more recently, the 2008 Lakeland Healing Revival with Todd Bentley.
Additionally Howard-Browne has been instrumental in the introduction of these “signs and wonders” all over the world including Brompton Holy Trinity, a high-profile charismatic Anglican church in May, 1994. The resulting Holy Laughter and other unusual manifestations at this prominent church and others in London shocked the British press and was the biggest story covered by British Christian media in 1995 and 1996. Brompton Holy Trinity is now primarily known as the source of the ALPHA course.
Saturday Night Live last night brought back Tina Fey to play Sarah Palin in the opening sketch – due to her kind-of frightening resemblance to the governor who’s unsure of what the Bush Doctrine is [does it depend on the definition of 'is' is or something Sarah? c'mon...].
Even if you’re not a fan of SNL [which I'm not, really], there are some pretty priceless quotes:
Clinton: I believe that diplomacy should be the cornerstone of any foreign policy…
Palin: And I can see Russia from my house!
Cliton: I believe global warming is caused by man…
Palin: And I believe it’s just God hugging us closer!
But the best one had to be :
Clinton: I’m sorry, I need to say something. I didn’t want a woman to be president – I wanted to be president, and I just happen to be a woman.
Dear Sen. Biden:
You have a problem. In less than a month, you will face off against Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin in a vice-presidential debate in St. Louis, and were you anyone but Joe Biden, it would likely be a rout. Last week, Palin proved herself a charming, confident, and gifted reader of speeches. But that doesn’t change the fact that two years ago she was the mayor of a town of 6,000, crusading against dirty books at the local library. You are a six-term senator and chairman of the Senate foreign relations committee. World leaders routinely friend you, unbidden, on Facebook (“Wait â€¦ Is this the Angela Merkel?”). World leaders had never heard of Gov. Palin until last Friday.
That’s your problem, Joe. Everyone expects you to win the debate, and to trounce her on the substance. But the rules for debating Gov. Palin are different. If you lecture her, you’ll be seen as a sexist bully. If you act too smart, you’ll be seen as a sexist bully. If you condescend to her, you’ll be seen as a sexist bully. So this longtime parliamentary debater (and longer-time female) is going to humbly offer you a few tips on how to debate a girl.
So, while this entire Daily Show clip is pretty hilarious [obviously], around the 4 min 30 sec mark there’s a direct comparison between McCain’s acceptance speech and G Dubya’s – ridiculous. Maybe the Republicans should hire new speech writers? Just a thought.
Plus, that was a shitload of balloons, my people.
Jesus was a community organizer – Pontius Pilate was a governor! – an alternative (to ours) viewpoint
The following excerpt was written by Jim Wallis
Wednesday morning, I got an e-mail from a former member of our Sojourners Community. His name is Perry Perkins and he is now a community organizer in Louisiana with affiliates of the Industrial Areas Foundation (IAF). â€œPerk,â€ as we used to call him, reported on the enormous consequences of 2 million people being evacuated because of Hurricane Gustav, much of the state now being without power, how hard cities like Baton Rouge were hit, the tens of thousands of people in shelters and churches, and the continuing problems caused by heavy rains and flooding. Then he talked about how their community organizers were responding to it all of this; responding to hundreds of service calls, assisting local officials in evacuation plans, aiding evacuees without transportation, coordinating shelters and opening new ones, providing food, essential services, and financial aid to those in most need. Since Katrina, Perryâ€™s Louisiana Interfaith organizations have played a lead role in securing millions of dollars to help thousands of families return to New Orleans and rebuild their homes and their lives.
Then Wednesday night, I heard Republican Vice-Presidential nominee, Sarah Palin, say that her experience as â€œa small town mayor is sort of like a community organizer, except that you have actual responsibilities.â€ The convention crowd in St. Paul thought that was very funny. But it wasnâ€™t. It was actually quite insulting to the army of community organizers who work in the most challenging places across the country and have such a tremendous impact on the every day lives of millions of people. I guess Sarah Palin and her fellow Republican delegates donâ€™t know much about that. The â€œactual responsibilitiesâ€ of community organizers literally provide the practical support, collective strength, and hope for a better future that low-income families need to survive,
Community organizers are now most focused in the faith community, working with tens of thousands of pastors and laypeople in thousands of congregations around the country. Faith-based organizing is the critical factor in many low-income communities in the countryâ€™s poorest urban and rural areas, and church leaders are often the biggest supporters of community organizers. And many of them felt deeply offended by Sarah Palin. Here are a few of their responses:
This situation is a great example of the right proclaiming a position that is blatantly ignorant and then trying to explain it away through saying so-called “liberals” are outraged for no reason. It’s obvious to me that the talking point for the night’s speeches, “community organizer,” was similar in its application to “flip flopper” as describing John Kerry. The only problem is that in this case it doesn’t work because it’s blatantly stupid. There are community organizers on both sides, including those ones that boycott soldiers’ funerals (cough evanrepubligelicals) and abortion clinics – to name a few in a narrow scope – and now they’re all offended.
If the Republicans really want to win this election they have a long way to go now in convincing people that they aren’t the party of the rich and that they have some limited grasp on reality. My friend from The Murder, Roach, told me that increasingly the Democrats are becoming (or have become) the party of the rich. I told him that 80 million some odd evangelicals in the Republican party was sincerely helping the cause (there are roughly as many voting evangelicals in the country as there are black people, man woman and child). Anyway, send her back to the ice. Alaska?? That doesn’t even TOUCH the rest of the US. That’s basically Canada.
In the dead of night in a small hideaway office in the deserted Capitol, a clandestine meeting takes place between two senators with one goal.
They grin at each other as they lift their celebratory shots of brutally cold Stolichnaya.
â€œOur toast to The One,â€ they say in unison, â€œis that heâ€™s toast.â€
â€œObama should have picked you, Hillary,â€ John McCain tells her. â€œIt isnâ€™t fair, my friend. But it just makes it easier for me to whup him.â€
â€œDonâ€™t worry, John, Iâ€™ve put it behind me,â€ Hillary replies. â€œIâ€™m looking toward the future now, a future that looks very bright, once we send Twig Legs back to the back bench.â€
They chortle with delight.
Puffy alleges that there are no black people in Alaska, amongst other true nonsense.
Special thanks to Lucy for this one.