Eve Attempts to Escape the Clutches of a Real-Life Evil Ninja!

I know you all love how half of our headlines have exclamation points. Just for the record, they’re our way of denoting some true ninja ish.

Anyways, for the most part, I try to stay out of other people’s love lives, but this one is just too good to be true. I didn’t know it, but rapper Eve has been dating Teodorin Nguema Obiang, the son of the dictator of Equitorial New Guinea, President Obiang.

President Obiang has been in power since 1979 and reportedly siphons $700 million a year from the oil rich country each year, while it’s citizens live on $1 a day. He doesn’t stop at being a thieving bastard either. He killed his own uncle and the rumor is that he was behind his brother’s “suicide.” Oh yeah, and several different sources have reported that he has engaged in “cannibalism.” Whooo… Yeah, I said he was an evil-ass ninja, didn’t I?
The money he steals goes, at least in part, to his playboy son’s romantic adventures. From the article, referring to Teodorin, Eve’s love interest:

“Teodorin, the Minister of Forestry, or the “Minister of Chopping Down Trees,” as some call him, pursued Eve relentlessly until she finally “gave up” and started going out with him, sources told us. The international playboy spent $700,000 at Christmas to rent Paul Allen’s yacht to fete her on St. Bart’s, tooled around in one of his two Bentleys, and invested $25 million in a rap label, Detroit’s TNO Entertainment.”

A source close to Eve says simply: “They will never date again.”

Apparently, Eve has come to her senses and realized that if she gets any closer to the family, she might end up “committing suicide” or getting eaten. Let’s hope it’s not already too late.

Article from New York Daily News

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