Category Archives: myninjaplease

Racists for Obama?

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[Do you know this man? Because he, my ninjas, is a bigot]

So no, we’re probably not talking about this fool in the image above – but apparently some people who many would deem ‘racist’ are on the fence – and even leaning towards Obama.

Huh?

New polling and a trickle of stories from the battleground states suggest that Sen. Barack Obama’s coalition includes one unlikely group: white voters with negative views of African Americans.

Race has become the elephant in the room of the 2008 presidential campaign, with Obama’s prospect of becoming the first black president drawing some Americans closer to him while pushing others away. At times, the contest has slipped into a familiar dynamic of allegations of racism and outraged denial – but it’s also challenged some easy assumptions about race, racism and prejudice.

“What you see is it’s perfectly possible to hold a negative view of at least one aspect of African Americans and yet simultaneously prefer Obama,” said Charles Franklin, a political scientist at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. “Racial feelings are not as cut and dried – not as black and white – as people often say.”

….

Anecdotes from across the battlegrounds suggest that there’s a significant minority of prejudiced white voters who will swallow hard and vote for the black man.

“I wouldn’t want a mixed marriage for my daughter, but I’m voting for Obama,” the wife of a retired Virginia coal miner, Sharon Fleming, told the Los Angeles Times recently.

One Obama volunteer told Politico after canvassing the working-class white Philadelphia neighborhood of Fishtown recently, “I was blown away by the outright racism, but these folks are … undecided. They would call him a [racial epithet] and mention how they don’t know what to do because of the economy.”

The notion that there might be “racists for Obama,” as one Democrat called them, comes against the backdrop of a country whose white voters largely accept the notion of a black president.

So, what I’m taking away from this is that our country is so fucked-up right now that people who are openly racist are at least considering voting for a black man.

That’s absolutely feckin’ insane.

.:Full article Racists for Obama? -> via CBS News

My Ninja, Please! 9/26/08: Country First!

So, John McCain, previously identified as Skeletor (vs. Obama’s ruddy zombie Rob Kennedy), has once again tried to pull a fast one and delay the presidential debate and suspend the campaign. His reason? Supposedly, this is too much of a hectic time to have a debate… but I saw a talking head on CNN who made a great point: we had a presidential election in 1864 when Sherman was marching on Atlanta. What kind of nonsense is McCain trying to pull?

This is all because of Palin, I bet, not being ready, and being on the verge of getting laughed out of the room when she goes up against Biden. This has already been such a strange campaign, nut now this? Dude may be going senile early.

Since when is McCain, anyway, qualified in any way to help solve the financial crisis? Saying that he has to rush back to Washington is actually worse than a “My Ninja, Please” – it’s a big LIE. This is also coming from a guy who once said “the issue of economics is not something I’ve understood as well as I should. I’ve got Greenspan’s book” amongst other memorable quotes.

This is also coming from a guy who has missed 412 votes in this current congress. Yes, since the last congressional election. That’s more than 100 votes more than Obama and TWICE what anybody else who ran for president (including Hillary) missed.

I guess, what can you expect from the most ignorant campaign in history: tax cuts for the rich, drill, baby drill… etc. My ninjas… please?

Obama Meets the President?

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I have to admit – I don’t think I ever saw an episode of the ‘West Wing’ [there's this thing called the news...and a President called Bush...that's about all the white house entertainment I needed]. That said, this op-ed from Maureen Dowd’s column in the NY Times was killin me – here’s an excerpt:

[FYI: Bartlet was, apparently, the president in the show 'West Wing', played by Martin Sheen. The following quote is a meeting between Obama and the fictional president, as conjured by the show's creator]

BARTLET You’d do very well on NBC. Thursday nights in the old “ER” time slot with “30 Rock” as your lead-in, you’d get seven, seven-five in the demo with a 20, 22 share — you’d be selling $450,000 minutes.

OBAMA What the hell does that mean?

BARTLET TV talk. I thought you’d be interested.

OBAMA I’m not. They pivoted off the argument that I was inexperienced to the criticism that I’m — wait for it — the Messiah, who, by the way, was a community organizer. When I speak I try to lead with inspiration and aptitude. How is that a liability?

BARTLET Because the idea of American exceptionalism doesn’t extend to Americans being exceptional. If you excelled academically and are able to casually use 690 SAT words then you might as well have the press shoot video of you giving the finger to the Statue of Liberty while the Dixie Chicks sing the University of the Taliban fight song. The people who want English to be the official language of the United States are uncomfortable with their leaders being fluent in it.

OBAMA You’re saying race doesn’t have anything to do with it?

BARTLET I wouldn’t go that far. Brains made me look arrogant but they make you look uppity. Plus, if you had a black daughter —

BARTLET Hang on. Home run. Right here. Is there any chance you could get Michelle pregnant before the fall sweeps?

OBAMA The problem is we can’t appear angry. Bush called us the angry left. Did you see anyone in Denver who was angry?

BARTLET Well … let me think. …We went to war against the wrong country, Osama bin Laden just celebrated his seventh anniversary of not being caught either dead or alive, my family’s less safe than it was eight years ago, we’ve lost trillions of dollars, millions of jobs, thousands of lives and we lost an entire city due to bad weather. So, you know … I’m a little angry.

OBAMA What would you do?

BARTLET GET ANGRIER! Call them liars, because that’s what they are. Sarah Palin didn’t say “thanks but no thanks” to the Bridge to Nowhere. She just said “Thanks.” You were raised by a single mother on food stamps — where does a guy with eight houses who was legacied into Annapolis get off calling you an elitist? And by the way, if you do nothing else, take that word back. Elite is a good word, it means well above average. I’d ask them what their problem is with excellence. While you’re at it, I want the word “patriot” back. McCain can say that the transcendent issue of our time is the spread of Islamic fanaticism or he can choose a running mate who doesn’t know the Bush doctrine from the Monroe Doctrine, but he can’t do both at the same time and call it patriotic. They have to lie — the truth isn’t their friend right now. Get angry. Mock them mercilessly; they’ve earned it. McCain decried agents of intolerance, then chose a running mate who had to ask if she was allowed to ban books from a public library. It’s not bad enough she thinks the planet Earth was created in six days 6,000 years ago complete with a man, a woman and a talking snake, she wants schools to teach the rest of our kids to deny geology, anthropology, archaeology and common sense too? It’s not bad enough she’s forcing her own daughter into a loveless marriage to a teenage hood, she wants the rest of us to guide our daughters in that direction too? It’s not enough that a woman shouldn’t have the right to choose, it should be the law of the land that she has to carry and deliver her rapist’s baby too? I don’t know whether or not Governor Palin has the tenacity of a pit bull, but I know for sure she’s got the qualifications of one. And you’re worried about seeming angry? You could eat their lunch, make them cry and tell their mamas about it and God himself would call it restrained. There are times when you are simply required to be impolite. There are times when condescension is called for!

.:read the rest of the article -> Maureen Dowd, Op-Ed Columnist for The NY Times

Drill, Idiot, Drill

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Imagine for a minute that attending the Republican convention in St. Paul, sitting in a skybox overlooking the convention floor, were observers from Russia, Iran and Venezuela. And imagine for a minute what these observers would have been doing when Rudy Giuliani led the delegates in a chant of “drill, baby, drill!”

I’ll tell you what they would have been doing: the Russian, Iranian and Venezuelan observers would have been up out of their seats, exchanging high-fives and joining in the chant louder than anyone in the hall — “Yes! Yes! Drill, America, drill!” — because an America that is focused first and foremost on drilling for oil is an America more focused on feeding its oil habit than kicking it.

Why would Republicans, the party of business, want to focus our country on breathing life into a 19th-century technology — fossil fuels — rather than giving birth to a 21st-century technology — renewable energy? As I have argued before, it reminds me of someone who, on the eve of the I.T. revolution — on the eve of PCs and the Internet — is pounding the table for America to make more I.B.M. typewriters and carbon paper. “Typewriters, baby, typewriters.”

.:T. Friedman’s op-ed Making America Stupid -> via the NY Times

Sarah Palin’s Weird-ass Church

OK, ninjas. I have an announcement to make. It’s not cool to be making fun of peoples’ religions and stuff. It’s not because I respect religion, or some high-falutin’ nonsense, but rather because they’re basically all the same, for one. Moreover, you know people get extra sensitive when you talk about their chosen deity, so it’s just best to let sleeping dogs lie. So, as you read forward into this next article let me also remind you that while this is weird… it’s less weird than some of ya’lls crochety-ass churches. And that’s my word, as a ninja AND as a scholar.

Ok now read this complete strange-ness and try not to fall out of your chair:

Mike Rose is the senior pastor of Juneau Christian Church, where Governor Sarah Palin attends when in residence in Juneau. The Alaska Update of the Alaska Assemblies of God featured a story on Palin’s attendance at the 2008 Alaska District Council and stated that “Superintendent Ted Boatsman, who was Palin’s junior high pastor at Wasilla Assembly of God, along with Pastor Mike Rose of Juneau Christian Center, where Palin presently attends church when in Juneau, laid hands on the Governor and led the Council in Prayer.”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_CkZWTvKBc[/youtube]

Rose is well known as far away as Australia for his participation in the “new wave” of the Holy Spirit. Former General Superintendent of the Assemblies of God in Australia, Dr. Andrew Evans, has also been a supporter of the “new wave” and its manifestations which he lists as falling, shaking and drunkenness (in the Spirit),and uncontrollable weeping and laughing. (He has been a controversial figure for his belief that these manifestations would aid in church growth in his denomination in Australia although these activities have been repeatedly denounced as Deviant Behavior by the U.S. General Council.) Evans writes about Rose’s ability to manage these manifestations in his church without excessive disruption of services. He also notes that Rose had been an advisor to Rodney Howard-Browne’s Revival Ministries committee and had “sat in over 110 of Rodney’s meetings.” Andrew Evans went on to found the Family First Party of Australia.

Rodney Howard-Browne is one of the most controversial and publicized figures of the Third Wave movement. While many of the leaders have been almost invisible in the mainstream media, Howard-Browne and his Holy Laughter anointing have been covered by CNN , Time, Newsweek, PBS, and numerous British media outlets. Howard-Browne refers to himself in many of these articles as the “Holy Ghost bartender.”

He is also one of the most controversial figures in the Evangelical world and is the subject of many hundreds of internet pages from other Evangelical and Fundamentalists discernment groups who view his unusual revival manifestations such as uncontrollable laughter, weeping, shrieking, and animal noises, as cultic. Other conservative Christians also find fault with Howard-Browne’s end time belief that a unified and purified church is currently being restored through a “great awakening” that is manifesting itself through these “signs and wonders.” Howard-Browne, like the other leaders of the Third Wave, believe that they are raising a great end time army that will take control of the world through spiritual warfare, and triumph over Satan before the millennial reign of Jesus. Many in the movement, such as C. Peter Wagner believe that the Apostolic age began in 2001. John Bevere, author of curriculum for the Master’s Commission of Wasilla Assembly of God, believes that he is teaching the final generation before the Millennial which he calculates will begin in 2028 or 2029.

Rodney Howard-Browne and his family moved from South Africa to the United States in 1987, and settled in the Lakeland/Tampa area after having a successful revival at the church of Karl Strader, Lakeland’s first Assemblies of God, Karl is father of Stephen Strader of Ignited Church and the current Lakeland Revival fame. Howard-Browne and his wife continued to lead revivals around the world and often worked closely with the late John Wimber of the Vineyard movement and the the Kansas City Prophets. They introduced hyper-charismatic activities in widely publicized revivals in both the United States and Great Britain including the Toronto Airport Blessing which began in 1994, and drew people worldwide to experience the phenomenon. Howard-Brown is also credited with a role in the Brownsville Revival, 1995, and more recently, the 2008 Lakeland Healing Revival with Todd Bentley.

Additionally Howard-Browne has been instrumental in the introduction of these “signs and wonders” all over the world including Brompton Holy Trinity, a high-profile charismatic Anglican church in May, 1994. The resulting Holy Laughter and other unusual manifestations at this prominent church and others in London shocked the British press and was the biggest story covered by British Christian media in 1995 and 1996. Brompton Holy Trinity is now primarily known as the source of the ALPHA course.

.::Read the rest of this article (p. 2) at -> alternet

Palin + Clinton = Hilarious

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBFk9XC3YLs[/youtube]
Saturday Night Live last night brought back Tina Fey to play Sarah Palin in the opening sketch – due to her kind-of frightening resemblance to the governor who’s unsure of what the Bush Doctrine is [does it depend on the definition of 'is' is or something Sarah? c'mon...].

Even if you’re not a fan of SNL [which I'm not, really], there are some pretty priceless quotes:

Clinton: I believe that diplomacy should be the cornerstone of any foreign policy…
Palin: And I can see Russia from my house!
Cliton: I believe global warming is caused by man…
Palin: And I believe it’s just God hugging us closer!

But the best one had to be :

Clinton: I’m sorry, I need to say something. I didn’t want a woman to be president – I wanted to be president, and I just happen to be a woman.

.:SNL Skit -> via NBC

How to Beat a Girl…

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…at a debate.|

Dear Sen. Biden:

You have a problem. In less than a month, you will face off against Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin in a vice-presidential debate in St. Louis, and were you anyone but Joe Biden, it would likely be a rout. Last week, Palin proved herself a charming, confident, and gifted reader of speeches. But that doesn’t change the fact that two years ago she was the mayor of a town of 6,000, crusading against dirty books at the local library. You are a six-term senator and chairman of the Senate foreign relations committee. World leaders routinely friend you, unbidden, on Facebook (“Wait … Is this the Angela Merkel?”). World leaders had never heard of Gov. Palin until last Friday.

That’s your problem, Joe. Everyone expects you to win the debate, and to trounce her on the substance. But the rules for debating Gov. Palin are different. If you lecture her, you’ll be seen as a sexist bully. If you act too smart, you’ll be seen as a sexist bully. If you condescend to her, you’ll be seen as a sexist bully. So this longtime parliamentary debater (and longer-time female) is going to humbly offer you a few tips on how to debate a girl.

.::Via -> Slate

McBush

So, while this entire Daily Show clip is pretty hilarious [obviously], around the 4 min 30 sec mark there’s a direct comparison between McCain’s acceptance speech and G Dubya’s – ridiculous. Maybe the Republicans should hire new speech writers? Just a thought.

Plus, that was a shitload of balloons, my people.

.:via The Daily Show ->

Brave New World Order

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So aparently Dubya was read a passage from [which is hilarious - he never read this $hit himself?] Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World, and ‘learned a lesson’ from the book – which was to ban further stem cell research.

What?

First and foremost – this ninja here really thinks we believe that he took anything away from Brave New World, other than some racy talk of promiscuous women and ‘savages’? My ninjas, PLEASE.

In a new [PMNP: as of Dec. 2007] piece in Commentary magazine, Jay Lefkowitz — who advised Bush on stem cells — reveals how the President formulated his 2001 policy. While Bush heard from a variety of groups on both sides of the issue, the turning point appeared to come when Lefkowitz read from Aldous Huxley’s fictional novel, Brave New World, and scared Bush:

A few days later, I brought into the Oval Office my copy of Brave New World, Aldous Huxley’s 1932 anti-utopian novel, and as I read passages aloud imagining a future in which humans would be bred in hatcheries, a chill came over the room.

“We’re tinkering with the boundaries of life here,” Bush said when I finished. “We’re on the edge of a cliff. And if we take a step off the cliff, there’s no going back. Perhaps we should only take one step at a time.”

[FYI to Lefkowitz: anti-utopian novel = dystopian]

Seriously though – thanks for using this piece of literature to justify something that has nothing to do with the novel. Stem cells and Brave New World? This research isn’t about making test-tube babies, my ninjas – and even if it is in some cases, we can legislate against that specifically by addressing the problems we’ll undoubtedly be facing soon enough with designer babies, genetic engineering, etc. Not to mention that Bush and his administration have probably helped bring us closer to the real issues that Huxley was getting at – like an increasingly powerful government using technology to oppress/control it’s people, and the effects of excessive consumerism [I mean, $hit - they worship Henry Ford in the book] on a society. Using this as an example for your position against stem cell research is like citing Frankenstein while condemning the use of prosthetics.

And I just had to toss this in here, my favorite comment from the ‘Think Progress’ article:

Apparently no one has taken a copy of “1984″ into the oval office.

- G

Sure they did ‘G’ – Bush + Cheney just thought Orwell had written a ‘How To’.
::original article from Think Progress, via The New Republic:

[[brought to you by your friendly neighborhood orangemenace]]

Dallas Police Score Big

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An undercover police agent in Dallas, Texas probably shit his pants today after he found some 50 lbs. of cocaine hidden in hydraulic compartments of a 2004 Infinity coupe they seized two months ago. The po-lice have been using the car in undercover operations since.

Ninjas hope to find the ’99 Honda seized at the same time and sold at auction before the police do.

What A Guy …

This is the new John McCain commercial set to air on national television:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpyOSLZw8qo[/youtube]

There is one line in there that’s more nauseating than most. Something like, “In a dangerous world with a broken economy,” … what? John McCain will make it more dangerous and put us further in debt? Two days ago, John McCain said that he would balance the national budget in his first term, should he be elected. This ninja here wants to know how he plans to do that. But that’s one of McCain’s secrets. In the past, candidates have offered some numbers to support their claims. But McCain’s got that one covered: if you don’t give any numbers, there’s no way people can do the calculations to shoot you down. Genius. Considering his plans to potentially lower taxes and maintain our current foreign policy that would leave him with only two more miracles before he would be canonized, right?

As far as the world being more dangerous … my ninja, please. I’m not sure I can get a ninja to tell me that this place is any more insecure (security-wise) than it was 12 years ago. Don’t buy it, folks.