Peyton Manning Cries… as usual

First off, as a member of MyNinjaPlease I would like to thank MyNinjaPlease for being the only, and by "only" I mean "ONLY" blog on the internet to be covering this recurring event with any type of veracity, hearkening back to that hard-nosed Eddie Murrow type of journalism that you’ve come to expect from us. Here is some of our previous coverage (the comments on those posts are priceless):
I apologize for any broken picture links in those previous posts, but the commentary provided by the MyNinjaPlease fam should accurately illustrate the point that this man a both a choker and a cry-er. And just to keep you up-to-date on this whole search rubric thing, if you type the string " Peyton Manning Cries" into your favorite search engine, we are the first hit.
This season I have seen some of the most blatant attempts I have seen in professional sports to officiate matches in a way so as to benefit one team or another, excluding the WWF, but in a very WWF-ish manner. The league has been changing history all season, using the instant replay mechanism to prove certain calls were correct or incorrect, while simply stuffing other calls down the veritable memory hole. There were numerous calls in the San Diego-Indianapolis game, not even to mention the fact that the Colts have spent the entire season on the receiving end of such special treatment. Their 67 regular season penalties were the least in the NFL this year, and probably set some type of modern day record that they are neglecting to tell us about. In this most recent game, for instance, there was a holding call that negated a last minute San Diego touchdown at the end of the first half. When the official came out on to the field to call the play he notably neglected to even identify the player involved. After the commercial break that quickly followed, and undoubtedly after a frantic conversation between executives about whether or not things had gotten too blatant, the coverage returned to remark on the apparent weirdness of the call; but mostly they glossed over it. There was a short explanation given, which gave no comfort to many of our minds, and the half expired.

This all has something to do with the amount of Peyton Manning commercials on TV, the fact that the NFL would like the defending champs to be competitive, and the fact that with the Colts gone, there’s no frat-boy sweaty gym sock guy-next-door character to provide an emotional center for the league. After all, the Patriots seem, especially taking their continued success into account, very reluctant to do commercials. Anyway, they’re too evil an Nazi-esque for the average midwesterner to get behind. And after all, they do love football out there. I guess there’s Favre left, but he’s a bit on the salt-and-peppery side. So, given all this, the NFL decided to bet on Peyton Manning this year, bolstering their position swinging from his jockstrap with a bunch of commercials and advertising, and sinisterly trying to officiate them to a winning season. San Diego fans know it’s true, and so do we here in New England, because it happened to us when we played them. They bet on Peyton and it was a bad bet, as usual.

And to make matters worse, he did that whole helmet thing again. When you’re obviously not coming back on to the field, I’m saying like the last thirty seconds of the game where the winning team is just taking a knee to run the clock, you’re sposed to take your helmet off, Peyton, just like the rest of your offensive unit. That includes the post-game handshakes and everything. It’s the same thing as the handshake from this game in earlier 2007. Yeah, Brady still has helmet on, but he’s just coming off the field. Thing about Peyton is he keeps his helmet on because he doesn’t want the cameras to see that he’s blatantly crying.
He has no problem walking up and down the sidelines with his big dome swinging during the game… Or throwing on the championship hat when he wins. If you’re gonna cry, Peyton, at least cry like a man! Like… Terrell Owens.

Above: Peyton Receives Annual Pussy Award
Posted: January 14th, 2008
at 2:10am by Black Ock
Categories: not ninja-worthy,games
Comments: 12 comments