Archive for September, 2008

You’re Still an A$$hole

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I’ve been noticing more and more ads recently for the new Cadillac Escalde Hybrid [feels dirty to say/type it], and I just wanted to take a quick second here to shout out all you Escalade buyers out there: You still suck. Buying an Escalade because it has Hybrid decals on it makes you about as cool as VD.

But wait, you heard it’s 50% more fuel efficient [city driving]? True! That gets you a whopping 20 mpg! Now we won’t have to drill offshore and in wildlife refuges! Yay! You’re really doing your part.

So to you Escalade drivers, I say this:

[Soccer Moms] - You’re not protecting your children by buying huge SUVs, you’re simply endangering the rest of us. Please, cut the crap.

[Hood Ninjas] - Real gangsters are all about that paper paper peoples - save some money on gas by buying a Prius. Plus, there’s this:

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Posted: September 24th, 2008
at 7:21am by orangemenace


Categories: hood status,myninjaplease,youtube,green,not ninja-worthy,whips,fo' real?,real life news,science

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Taxes: Up or Down?

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Well, my ninjas, we here at MNP know how hard it is to sort thru all the bullshit during an election year. It’s a politrickcians nature to lie - so how can you know when you’re not being hoodwinked? Well, how about some simple math? Sounds fair, right? With that in mind, check out ObamaTaxCut.com, where you can answer a few simple questions to see how much you’ll pay/save under a President Obama vs a McCain. Judge their proposals for yourself.

.:ObamaTaxCut.com -> via Alchemy Today

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Posted: September 24th, 2008
at 5:10am by orangemenace


Categories: politricks,real life news,diy

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Who Doesn’t Like Prunes?

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While many of you probably already saw this clip - either while watching the Emmy’s, or later online [I found it on the google video home page] - I thought it was kind of hilarious, and worth a post.

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Posted: September 23rd, 2008
at 10:35am by orangemenace


Categories: myninjaplease,youtube,celebrity,politricks

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Obama Meets the President?

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I have to admit - I don’t think I ever saw an episode of the ‘West Wing’ [there’s this thing called the news…and a President called Bush…that’s about all the white house entertainment I needed]. That said, this op-ed from Maureen Dowd’s column in the NY Times was killin me - here’s an excerpt:

[FYI: Bartlet was, apparently, the president in the show ‘West Wing’, played by Martin Sheen. The following quote is a meeting between Obama and the fictional president, as conjured by the show’s creator]

BARTLET Youa€™d do very well on NBC. Thursday nights in the old a€oeERa€A time slot with a€oe30 Rocka€A as your lead-in, youa€™d get seven, seven-five in the demo with a 20, 22 share a€" youa€™d be selling $450,000 minutes.

OBAMA What the hell does that mean?

BARTLET TV talk. I thought youa€™d be interested.

OBAMA Ia€™m not. They pivoted off the argument that I was inexperienced to the criticism that Ia€™m a€" wait for it a€" the Messiah, who, by the way, was a community organizer. When I speak I try to lead with inspiration and aptitude. How is that a liability?

BARTLET Because the idea of American exceptionalism doesna€™t extend to Americans being exceptional. If you excelled academically and are able to casually use 690 SAT words then you might as well have the press shoot video of you giving the finger to the Statue of Liberty while the Dixie Chicks sing the University of the Taliban fight song. The people who want English to be the official language of the United States are uncomfortable with their leaders being fluent in it.

OBAMA Youa€™re saying race doesna€™t have anything to do with it?

BARTLET I wouldna€™t go that far. Brains made me look arrogant but they make you look uppity. Plus, if you had a black daughter a€"

BARTLET Hang on. Home run. Right here. Is there any chance you could get Michelle pregnant before the fall sweeps?

OBAMA The problem is we cana€™t appear angry. Bush called us the angry left. Did you see anyone in Denver who was angry?

BARTLET Well … let me think. …We went to war against the wrong country, Osama bin Laden just celebrated his seventh anniversary of not being caught either dead or alive, my familya€™s less safe than it was eight years ago, wea€™ve lost trillions of dollars, millions of jobs, thousands of lives and we lost an entire city due to bad weather. So, you know … Ia€™m a little angry.

OBAMA What would you do?

BARTLET GET ANGRIER! Call them liars, because thata€™s what they are. Sarah Palin didna€™t say a€oethanks but no thanksa€A to the Bridge to Nowhere. She just said a€oeThanks.a€A You were raised by a single mother on food stamps a€" where does a guy with eight houses who was legacied into Annapolis get off calling you an elitist? And by the way, if you do nothing else, take that word back. Elite is a good word, it means well above average. Ia€™d ask them what their problem is with excellence. While youa€™re at it, I want the word a€oepatriota€A back. McCain can say that the transcendent issue of our time is the spread of Islamic fanaticism or he can choose a running mate who doesna€™t know the Bush doctrine from the Monroe Doctrine, but he cana€™t do both at the same time and call it patriotic. They have to lie a€" the truth isna€™t their friend right now. Get angry. Mock them mercilessly; theya€™ve earned it. McCain decried agents of intolerance, then chose a running mate who had to ask if she was allowed to ban books from a public library. Ita€™s not bad enough she thinks the planet Earth was created in six days 6,000 years ago complete with a man, a woman and a talking snake, she wants schools to teach the rest of our kids to deny geology, anthropology, archaeology and common sense too? Ita€™s not bad enough shea€™s forcing her own daughter into a loveless marriage to a teenage hood, she wants the rest of us to guide our daughters in that direction too? Ita€™s not enough that a woman shouldna€™t have the right to choose, it should be the law of the land that she has to carry and deliver her rapista€™s baby too? I dona€™t know whether or not Governor Palin has the tenacity of a pit bull, but I know for sure shea€™s got the qualifications of one. And youa€™re worried about seeming angry? You could eat their lunch, make them cry and tell their mamas about it and God himself would call it restrained. There are times when you are simply required to be impolite. There are times when condescension is called for!

.:read the rest of the article -> Maureen Dowd, Op-Ed Columnist for The NY Times

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Posted: September 23rd, 2008
at 7:33am by orangemenace


Categories: myninjaplease,politricks,fo' real?

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The 65 mpg Ford the U.S. Can’t Have

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If ever there was a car made for the times, this would seem to be it: a sporty subcompact that seats five, offers a navigation system, and gets a whopping 65 miles to the gallon. Oh yes, and the car is made by Ford Motor, known widely for lumbering gas hogs.

Ford’s 2009 Fiesta ECOnetic goes on sale in November. But here’s the catch: Despite the car’s potential to transform Ford’s image and help it compete with Toyota Motor and Honda Motor in its home market, the company will sell the little fuel sipper only in Europe. "We know it’s an awesome vehicle," says Ford America President Mark Fields. "But there are business reasons why we can’t sell it in the U.S." The main one: The Fiesta ECOnetic runs on diesel.

.::read on a€"> finance.yahoo

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Posted: September 23rd, 2008
at 5:57am by Koookiecrumbles


Categories: green,whips

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What is the NINJA Crash?

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No Income, No Jobs, No Assets= NINJA Loans

.::the NINJA Crash explained -> my-world-news.org

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Posted: September 23rd, 2008
at 5:17am by Koookiecrumbles


Categories: what is?

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Tokyo Post Apocalypse

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.::Via a€"> urbancartography

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Posted: September 22nd, 2008
at 12:08pm by Koookiecrumbles


Categories: life,art,architecture

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Clinging to beliefs; denying reality

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Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had learned from birth. But one creature said at last, a€oeI trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.a€A

The other creatures laughed and said, a€oeFool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed across the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom!a€A

But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks. Yet, in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and he was bruised and hurt no more.

And the creatures downstream, to whom he was a stranger, cried, a€oeSee a miracle! A creature like ourselves, yet he flies! See the Messiah, come to save us all!a€A And the one carried in the current said, a€oeI am no more Messiah than you. The rivera€™s delight is to lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this adventure.

But they cried the more, a€oeSavior!a€A all the while clinging to the rocks, making legends of a Savior.

.::Via a€"> thistimethisspace

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Posted: September 22nd, 2008
at 11:59am by Koookiecrumbles


Categories: life

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My Ninja, Please! 9/18/08: Chad Ocho-Cinco?

Some of you may remember like way back in ’06 when Chad Johnson asked reporters to call him "Ocho-Cinco" in celebration of Spanish Heritage Month.AA If you don’t take a gander at the video below:

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Well, this fool has made it official.AA Chad Johnson has legally changed his name to Chad Ocho-Cinco.AA Why? We don’t know.AA But we just wanted to let you know, Chad, our ninja, you’re a good player and all but, YOU ISN’T SPANISH!AA You gonna name your kids that name too?AA Leon Ocho-Cinco?AA Juliette Ocho-Cinco?AA Come on mannnn…AA That is just FOOLISH.

That’s not even how you say ’85’ in Spanish.AA My ninja, please!

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Posted: September 19th, 2008
at 11:30am by Black Ock


Categories: myninjaplease,mnp is for the children

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