Archive for the ‘too good to be true’ Category

My Ninja Please! 8/9/06: Fatboy Strikes Back

Fat Albert.jpg

Basically, this is too ridiculous. During a televised political debate one pundit, upset with being called fat by his opponent, lashes out. Just watch it.

Notice how the ninja uses his elite skills to first disappear off camera. Then the chair just comes out of nowhere. Throwing a chair… if that’s not ninja-ish, what is? A well deserved My Ninja Please! for all.

This article was originally from ThePimpsCorner:
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Posted: August 9th, 2006
at 3:08pm by black octagons


Categories: myninjaplease,too good to be true

Comments: 2 comments


The Ruskis Are Back - And With Invisibility Cloaks (What is this, D&D?)

An excerpt from the article from MosNews:

"A professor from the department of quantum and optical electronics of the Ulyanovsk State University in western Russia has patented a method of making things invisible, Interfax news agency reported.

The so-called invisibility cloak, created by Oleg Gadomsky, is called a€oeThe method of conversion of optical radiationa€A in the patent."

(Ed: Whoa. Wait. Waht? The future is today. Now I just need to buy them out and world domination is imminent. Until then, I’m dedicating all of my efforts to obtaining one of these invisibility cloaks. See y’all later - hopefully you won’t see me.)

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Posted: August 4th, 2006
at 3:58pm by Koookiecrumbles


Categories: bling,too good to be true,clothes,weaponry,gear

Comments: 3 comments


Last Stand For Music

A great live performance from the Leningrad Cowboys and the Red Army Choir who sing Sweet Home Alabama. A destined classico.

The video from VideoSift

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Posted: August 4th, 2006
at 2:00pm by Koookiecrumbles


Categories: youtube,music,too good to be true,robots

Comments: No comments


Not a Ninja: Smugglin Gone Terribly Wrong…

ganj--i mean butterfly smuggling

And you thought the stakes were high in the drug game! Who knew that the insect blackmarket was a thriving industry? This dude is the world’s most wanted butterfly smuggler… He got pinched in Los Angeles International Airport with over $300,000 in butterflies that are protected by global treaties.

The feds spent three years conducting an undercover operation to get this guy (He would be a ninja, but ninjas don’t get caught)! Can you believe what our tax-dollars go to?

article via 3Yen

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Posted: August 4th, 2006
at 4:40am by Black Ock


Categories: myninjaplease,bling,crime,too good to be true,business

Comments: 1 comment


Ninjas in the Animal Kingdom!

wild monkey ninja

So apparently India has been having problems with monkeys acting way too gangsta; the monkeys board trains and intimidate passengers…erm… human passengers, I mean. That’s a bit racialist, don’t ya think?

The solution? Indian authorities figured the best way to communicate with the monkeys was to be monkeys too, or at least hire one as an intermediary. That’s right, for the past month, the Delhi Metro Rail Corporation has had as an official emplyee a langur monkey, specifically assigned the duty of monkey bodyguard. Strictly funky business!

article on yahoo news

via petistic

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Posted: August 4th, 2006
at 4:29am by Black Ock


Categories: too good to be true,business

Comments: No comments


Ninjas on horses!

crazy-ass horse ninjas

So on a recent trip down to Philly, my boy Mike from The Brilliant Mistake spotted these crazy-ass ninjas riding through the hood on horses. That’s it.

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Posted: August 3rd, 2006
at 11:45pm by Black Ock


Categories: hood status,myninjaplease,bling,too good to be true,drogas

Comments: No comments


Having trouble fending off gas attacks?

gas attack!

And no, I don’t mean your own. Okay, I know we’re not exactly known for being highbrow, but I still hesitated to bring this to your attention. As you can see, I came to my better judgement, so here goes:

This little device can detect when anybody within your vicinty lays one on you. That’s all I’m gonna say.

Check it out for yourself.

via cribcandy

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Posted: August 2nd, 2006
at 6:08pm by Black Ock


Categories: life,too good to be true

Comments: No comments


MY NINJA, PLEASE! 7/31/06: Steely Dan is Heated!

Steely Dan, Peaceful Ninja Beasts
This is a beastly ten-paragraph open letter from Steely Dan to Luke Wilson about a little problem they have. The problem, though, isn’t even with Luke, it’s with his brother Owen and his role in the new movie, "You, Me and Dupree."

Apparently, and I’m sorry Steely Dan, but I wasn’t aware, they have a song about a down and out slacker named Dupree, and they seem to be quite heated that their character has a namesake in a terrible Hollywood movie.

Read past the excerpts from the letter to hear Owen’s response…

Some juicy gems from the letter:

"Hey man - it’s, like, Don and Walt, we’re the guys from Steely Dan, the group, we won those grammies that time, maybe you recall?…

…well, man, something kind of uncool has come to our attention and we’ve got to, like, do something or say something before the scene gets out of our control and something even more uncool happens…

…It’s your little brother Owen C. that’s the problem. We realize what a drag it is for you to have people coming to you about his lameness all the time and we’re really sorry to be doing the same thing…

…But, hey, Luke, man - there is one petite solid you could do for us at this time - do you think you could persuade your bro to do the right thing and come on down to our Concert at Irvine and apologize to our fans for this travesty?…Otherwise, if this business goes unresolved, there are some pretty heavy people who are upset about this whole thing and we can’t guarantee what kind of heat little Owen may be bringing down on himself…

…there can sometimes be some very harsh trips that go down. Your bro may be creating an extremely retrograde reality matrix for himself with his whole sellout moviestar game and there may be some righteous dues to pay, amen…

…For example, there’s this guy who works for us sometimes, he’s not necessarily the kind of folks you want to know or hang with, but if you happen to get in a barfight or some kind of hassle in a foreign country, he’s your best fucking friend in the world…you know what a Navy Seal is, right? Well, this dude’s like that, only he’s Russian…I mean, one time we saw this guy, WITH HIS BARE HANDS, do something so unspeakable that - but, hey man, let’s not even let it get that way, you know?…P.S. Tell Owen to bring his bongos if he wants to sit in -"

Wow. WOW. Steely Dan is gangsta. Hahahaha. I mean, truth be told, I’m no big fan of Owen Wilson either and you’d have to kill me to drag me into "You, Me and Dupree," but seriously, Steely Dan, you ninjas need to get a life. That letter is too hi-larious.

I’m sure that’s what Owen Wilson was thinking when he gave this response:

"I have never heard the song ‘Cousin Dupree’ and I don’t even know who this gentleman, Mr. Steely Dan, is. I hope this helps to clear things up and I can get back to concentrating on my new movie, ‘HEY 19.'"

For all y’all young ninjas, "Hey Nineteen" was another Steely Dan song released in the 70s.
Now, we got mad ninja inductees. Owen Wilson and the fools from Steely Dan!

Steely Dan’s letter from their website

Owen’s response on MyWay News

via FreeWilliamsburg

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Posted: July 31st, 2006
at 6:15pm by Black Ock


Categories: hood status,myninjaplease,music,celebrity,too good to be true,film

Comments: 1 comment


Paris Hilton…Celebrity Ninja?

paris hilton, elite ninja hacker?

OK, so some famous people are obviously ninjas… Think Bill Clinton or Wesley Snipes Rick James, bitch.

But the newest trashy gossip says that there may be more than meets the eye with Paris Hilton. I know it’s unbelievable, but reliable sources indicate that Miss Paris may be shedding her "dumb blonde" act in order to show her true skills as an elite hacker.
It’s reported that she "hacked into Lindsay Lohan’s Blackberry and sent offensive messages to her friends from it."

Lohan’s spokeswoman says that whoever did it sent "disgusting and very mean messages that everyone thought were coming from Lindsay. They weren’t. We now have lawyers looking into it. Some people think Paris may have been involved because the wording of the messages sounds very familiar."

(ed: don’t be mistaken, she still gets no respect)

scoop from KNX1070 Newsradio

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Posted: July 31st, 2006
at 2:52pm by Black Ock


Categories: myninjaplease,celebrity,crime,too good to be true

Comments: 1 comment